The eye game

First I'd like to say that I never meant to leave my good friend Christy out of all this. Christy has been a wonderful friend to me since I met her at work nearly 4 years ago. However when I got sick I didn't really feel like I could call her. She worked the same schedule as me and I think some part of me felt like calling her would be off limits. I've loved hanging out with her but her living situation was much different than mine and therefore it was harder to hang out over there. None the less, she is one of the most loyal, generious and funny people I know and I miss her.
I've been noticing that alot of my communication with the people I want to stay in my life is designed to keep them in my life. I have told nearly all of my girlfriends that I loved them within the first week of dating them. And when I meet someone new that I like I immediatley open up so they will see that they can trust me. I feel like unless they see that I am interesting within an hour or so they will start to lose interest. I also try to make sure they know how appreciative I am of their friendship. It is harder to leave someone if they are a nice person.
But I find that no matter how much I imploy these methods I rarely get as close to people as I would like. I am currently getting great call and response from the new friends I've been making. And Even though most of them plan on moving in the near future, Im not as worried about being able to make more friends within SGI. The people there have been great. I think this is the reason I've had such a great response from them: they are living for others as much as for themselves. I was talking to Tom tonight about how alot of people don't want to respond on these social sites. He was frustrated because he thought that was the point of being on those sites. I agree, but I also think alot of those people are just on there for vainity (not to say that I haven't had my share of vainity fair on facebook.)
I will be welcomming a friend from CO this Friday! I haven't seen her in 10 years! We were in the Air Force together. We first met at a youth group meeting in Italy. I was in a very spiritual place at the time and I think that brought us together. She had a boyfriend at the time and I told myself that was fine because I wasn't attracted to her. She told me that it frustrated her how guys would claim to be her friend and then get a crush on her. I remember laughing. She was going through a tough time as she was trying to get out of the military as a conscientious objector. I actually testified for her in the case. To take her mind off of things we would go to villiages in the mountains at night after I got off my swing shift as a cop. We were big into photography at the time and took many night photos. I remember one night it was raining and to my surprise she still wanted to go take pictures. We got soaked but came back with some cool memories. Little by little I began to fall for her. Then one day we were at a resturant and I asked her if she had ever tried reading someones mind through their eyes. We kinda laughed a bit and then began to try. I looked at her and thought about how I needed a refill on my drink as hard as I could. She said "you want more coke". I was blown away! I asked her how she did it and she said that I had looked at my drink before hand. None the less I was still impressed. It was then her turn and I began to look into her eyes. Right as I did I heard her voice say in my head "if it wasn't for Dan (her boyfriend) it'd be you." I was so alarmed that I stood up and made up some excuse to go to get that drink or use the bathroom or something. When I came back I tried to change the subject but she said "don't you want to know what I said?" I told her it didn't matter and that we should go. She got really serious and looked really sad. She said "please tell me what you heard." I told her I didn't hear anything. I took her back to base and huged her and then left her. We barely said a word. Things were akward for awhile and I thought about just telling her how I felt. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I did. I asked her if what I heard was what she meant for me to hear. She said "something like that." I remeber being really frustrated (and a drama queen) at the time, so I wrote her this being letter saying how it didn't matter if we couldn't be together because at least she knew how I felt about her. When I gave her the letter she cried. She told me that what she was actually saying with her eyes was that she couldn't talk because her mouth was full. I of course stormed out (of course) to try and get drunk. Things were weird from then on in. Eventually she left and didn't even say good bye. I still look at that as one of the most romantic times of my life regardless of how over the top I was. I thought about her for years after that and eventually found her on facebook. Weve talked a few times and she seems like a really cool person still. I can't wait to her again. We should probably play the eye game again just for old times sake!