Well my friend came to visit from CO. I must admit things didn't really go the way that I had planned. Thats not to say that I was disapointed. This girl had once told me she would be interested in letting things play out between us and we had flirted back and forth for over two years, but when we met...lets just say she wasn't as interested.
I am a fan of the movie "When Harry Met Sally" because it's so true. Men and women can very rarely be best friends. Almost every guy becomes romantically interested in every girl he knows at least once. Im not even your typical masculine pig and Im saying this. I tried for years to be friends with Frances and every time we were together I was suffering. I've talked to many guys about this and they have all been there. This is why your boyfriends don't want you to have male friends; not because we don't trust you but because we know what that guy is thinking. He's constantly picturing you naked, he's taking every opportunity to look up your skirt or through your shirt and given any sign (which you give without realizing it is a sign) he will make a pass.
It's hard for guys. We live in a world where the guy has to ask the girl out. So he's stressing about that and if that wasn't bad enough he has to ask you out in a way that indicates that he wants to date you. I can't tell you how many dates I've been on where half way through the girl mentions her boyfriend. If a guy asks you to do anything, he likes you. If a guy does anything nice for you, he likes you. Thats not just a thing on TV, thats the way it actually is. So guys and girls can't be friends.
So I'm trying to be friends with this girl. She's from MA. I saw her picture on a friends facebook profile and something clicked. I asked my friend about her and found out that my friend had gone to high school with her and that we would probably have alot in common. I was frustrated and as time went by I decided to message her, Im bold like that. Turns out she was cool and wrote back. We went on two dates (I straight up asked her on a date) and had fun. But I was in a bad place then and therefore didn't see many sparks. Since then I've been involved in Buddhism and have become alot better mentally and when she came down again a few days ago, I was excitted. It looked like we weren't going to get a chance to meet up but when we did it was amazing! We do have alot in common and we were laughing often. Half way through the date I kissed her and it was so nice, so warm, she seemed to fit into my arms so perfect. And I just got this feeling, like...she likes me too. I could just tell she wanted to be there with me as much as I wanted to be there with her. But not just that, it was like I could just tell what she wanted out of life. Something inside of us just sunk up and it was like "oh you want to set on the porch and read while we drink tea in the morning before we go off running and then to flea markets", or something.
But what am I supposed to do? I've been making so much progress on my own, and the day after she left, she was the only thing I thought about. Then the next day I was thinking of her when I was down, that's a bad sign. That means that Im not trying to fix myself, Im trying to use someone else to do it, and that's proven deadly in the past. Plus, she's up there. I can't just move there after 3 dates! Not to mention, Im not sure how much she knows herself.
So, I guess we have to just keep it friendly, which I hate because I don't want to lose her. But when it comes down to it: all I can do is all I can do. We were put into each others lives for a reason and whatever that reason is, it will be fulfilled.
Tommorow Im going to visit a lady who just lost her husband with my parents minister. He called me and invited me and I jumped at the opportunity since Im interested in counseling. This should be interesting.
I was also asked to play a song for a Buddhist festival this weekend. I wasn't going to turn down an opportunity to do my best. Now what song to perform?
No comments:
Post a Comment